Unbridled Feminine Energy

As a woman in the world today, I can attest to the mounting pressure to be tame. I have always had a very keen intuition and an enchantment with the unexplainable... But I was told not to ask questions. I was shown to be quiet, just agree to keep the peace. Don't wear clothes that show too much, tattoos are for dirty girls, if you wear too much makeup people will think you're trying too hard... Societal bullshit that's been fed to our children for generations, keeping them small and unable to fly. I fed into it for too many years, caging my soul and giving someone else the key. Anyone who would hold it, actually, because of how deeply I didn't know myself. Perpetually in a panic state, wondering if I overstepped my place or hurt someone's feelings with how I truly felt. I look back at that girl and she is altogether unrecognizable today. I know today my feelings are valid, every single damn one of them, whether anyone agrees with them or not. I know today I hold power within me, and it is up to nobody but me to exert this power. The power to speak up when I feel wronged. The power to say no even without a "good" reason. The power to ask questions when something doesn't settle right in my gut. The power to call the ones I love out on their bullshit, including myself. The power to express my heart and creativity through crazy hair colors, makeup, and tattoos. The power to decide who and what I will give my precious energy to, and put self care above all. None of these lessons came easy, they came from being in so much pain my knees hit the floor. Nights awake, wondering if I would ever have the life I so desired, all the while waiting on someone to read my mind and show up with it on a silver platter. I'm so fucking grateful I woke up from that nightmare. I stopped waiting and I started DOING. I started showing up for myself and stopped complaining that others weren't. I let go of resentment that anyone wasn't doing what was best for me. Why would they, when I wouldn't even do it for myself? What would happen if you decided that this power also lives within you? People might leave? Let them. Maybe this period in your life is about letting go of all the people, places, and things that would leave you broken and afraid for their advancement....

Marianne Williamson, one of my favorite authors, writes “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'" Oh how deeply these words resonate with my past. Who was I, little insignificant Molly, to be beautiful and own it? To be actually intelligent AND likeable? To be caring and gentle when the world was so hard? You see, in the patriarchal society we live in, if you do not fit in with "the norm," you are considered an outcast, forever judged, especially as a woman. How dare I be 33 with no children? What in the world are you doing wearing all that makeup, you don't need it. But what powers that be get to govern "the norm?" BE YOU ANYWAY. I encourage you to embrace this power inside of you. You are a child of God and the Universe, made perfect, and the sooner you start seeing this, the more you can step up. Answer that call in your soul, whatever it may be. Love all of you with compassion and grace, and teach others how. Whatever love you give another should be an overflow of the love you give yourself, otherwise it's a sacrifice....